Randles falls back into Actimel troubles

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Local man John Randles who was once Actimel-free for three months has now fallen into the addictive quagmire for the second time. Randles admitted to feeling angry and "full of sorrow" when his last encounter with Actimel took place. Having worked with his therapist Dr. Roache, Randles told the Irish Times he felt renewed and like a new man.
"We were making slow progress. I was thinking about Actimel less and less as time went by."
Randles, (52), had been denied further therapy after a sexual abuse allegation was made against the accommodation administrator. Dr. Roache said he made advancements on her, but she decided not to take legal action as she knew he was ill.
Now, Randles rarely leaves his house. We visited his home yesterday to interview him but the curtains were drawn and the front lawn was unmaintained. When our team knocked on his door, muffled racial slurs could be heard from upstairs. More on this later.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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