Local Oregon Teenager caught fighting old people in a Walmart Parking Lot
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Oregon, OH teenager Ryan Lester age 19 was seen getting into an altercation with 5 elderly people today at 4:30 EST. The fight will be broadcasted on Pay-Per-View for a flat rate of $35.99 for the event.
"I was just grabbing my Metamucil and the very large boy came over to me after taking too long to get out of his way so he could park." Said victim Mary Saunders, 72, to local news corispondent Daniel Flako.
65 year old Gary Fincher told our corispondent that he was "erratic, swinging like no tomorrow. At some point he looked at the lady as she was on the ground with a crazy look in his eye and said 'Let's get it on.' It was a very life changing sight."
The only photo of the suspect we have is of him jumping over a vehicle during his escape.
If seen, please call 1-800-RYANS-A-BITCH
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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