President Trump Signs Executive Order to Finally Impeach Obama
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This morning President Trump, surrounded by several Republican lawmakers, his wife Melania, his daughter Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner, and sons Donald Jr. and Eric, signed an executive order impeaching his predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama.
"Loser Obama was very, very terrible for our great country and he made it worse again," Trump said to reporters at the ceremony. "This is a campaign promise I made to all my wonderful supporters and I knew I had to do it because Barack Hussein Obama is a sick person and is a terrible negotiator, believe me. I am the best negotiator in the world, I was able to get all those jobs created with Carrier and the -- and the Ford factory in Detroit is doing many, many great things now because of what we've done with it."
This is the first time a president has been impeached after they left office, and is also the first time a president, current or former, has been impeached through an executive order. When a reporter asked the president whether it was in his power to impeach a former president, Trump said "I talked to Ron [Rosenstein] about it and he told us that it's in the Constitution. Impeaching lying Obama is just another way we're going to make America great again."
The executive order charges former president Obama with three separate crimes. The first and most serious, according to president Trump, is colluding with radical Islamists including al Quaeda and ISIS. ""You know, people cannot believe that President Obama is acting the way he acts and can't even mention the words radical Islamic terrorism," he said to reporters. "There's something going on — it's inconceivable. There's something going on. ISIS is honoring President Obama. He's the founder of ISIS. He's the founder of ISIS. He's the founder. He founded ISIS. I think he is behind it. I also think it is politics, that's the way it is."
The second charge brought against Obama alleges that he is not eligible to be president due to the fact that he is not a natural-born US citizen. "An 'extremely credible source' has called my office and told me that lying Barack Obama's birth certificate is a fraud," Trump said. "We have proof -- my people in Hawaii found some unbelievable stuff -- you won't even believe the kinds of things they found, that he was not born in the United States. That means he can't be the president, because it's in the Constitution."
The final charge brought against former president Obama alleges that he, with the help of other Democrats such as Hillary Clinton, conspired to illegally sell nuclear materials to Iran during the negotiations between the US, Iran, and other countries on the nuclear deal, which is both a federal crime and an international crime. When asked for information about the evidence against Obama on this charge, Trump gleefully explained "Look, having nuclear --my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart -- you know, if you're a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world -- it's true! --but when you're a conservative Republican they try -- oh, do they do a number --that's
why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune -- you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we're a little disadvantaged -- but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me -- it would
have been so easy, and it's not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right -- who would have thought?),
but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners -- now it used to be three, now it's four -- but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven't figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it's gonna take them about
another 150 years -- but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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