Follansbee Woman Sought for Questioning.
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Paula "Jinny" Shifflett of Follansbee is wanted for questioning in connection with a series of bizarre events. Local and state authorities claim that Ms. Shifflett has been spotted throughout the area attempting to trade jars of human bodily fluids and excrement, as well as human hair in exchange for several items ranging from 9mm ammunition to cotton balls. Anyone with information on her whereabouts is strongly encouraged to contact the Follansbee Police Department. Authorities ask that you do not attempt to approach or detain Ms. Shifflett as it has been confirmed that she is a carrier of the Ebola virus.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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