Ms. Strap-a-Lot
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Suspect is on the loose, goes by the name Ms. Strap-a-Lot Tish she is wanted for a string of Dildo assaults on women on the Southside of Chicago.. she was last seen in an alley on 79th & Essex attacking a senior citizen the 63yr old female suffered multiple stab wounds by dildo injection. She is considered dangerous with leathal rhinestone strapped Dildo.
She has been identified wearing beach comb sandals, her feet looks like they've been dipped in cooking flour, tan flooded pants with poker dots mixed with plaid pockets with a dildo stapped to her on tip of it is the face of a smiling sponge Bob and green throwback celtics starter jacket. Please contact the proper authorities if you see her.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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