Local Angels Fans Suffer From Severe Depression
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4 teenage boys have been diagnosed with chronic depression in La Verne all surrounding the woes of the Anaheim Angels. One of the boys Tyler Holley, age 15, has not been heard from in 2 years, and is last seen on Fortnite. It is said he is “stuck in the good old days”. Another one of the boys is handling his depression by “hitting the links with the boys”, said Jeffrey Plumley. He also went on to say, “We need Adell to be good, but there’s always next year”. Another boy who is known to his friends as a man due to his abnormally hairy physique, Aiden Caron, age 18, is said to be fucking 4 out of 10s to cope with the pain. He can be found roaming around Chipotle in La Verne hitting his nic device, and flirting with milfs in the Chipotle line. One friend said anonymously, “if he comes near my sister I will have to text Andrea, and Kendall in return”. It is not known who the identity of these 2 names are, but more information is rolling in. The fan suffering the worst from the Angels Woes is young man Dylan Borchert, who has resorted to calling -4s with moles pretty because he is desperate. He is also undergoing a crippling addiction to something called “Pop Smoke”, currently we can not identify what this means. One friend Alek Iriarte stated, “I miss the old Dylan, truax will always be better than Unger”. If you have anymore information surrounding these young men please report it to us immediately.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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