Breaking News: Tom Brady suspended for first five games of NFL season for sexually assaulting a dolphin at local aquarium

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Tom Brady, 40, of the New England Patriots was fined and suspended for the first five games of upcoming NFL season after being caught sexually assaulting a male dolphin at a local New England Aquarium. Brady has been seen spending time out with his family after his recent Superbiwl lost to the Philadelphia Eagles. Sources say they spotted Brady entering the aquarium with his son where he reportedly snuck into the dolphin enclosure and proceeded to slowly caress the dolphin until authorities detained him and removed him from the aquarium. The aquarium has yet to ban him but the dolphin will press charges.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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