Has it all gone Thomas John?

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Wednesday 10 August 2059 21323 Shares

Springholm local, Thomas John (TJ) McCarney due to flee country due to unplanned erotic predicament.
21 year old TJ told the Daily Record;
“I have pumped and dumped before. Not until now have I put myself in such a situation that I have put my family in danger.”
The young lad went on to tell us how his mother had received death threats after two of his ex lovers had been trying to get in contact with him to settle a burden. TJ’s mother had been hiding her son in the garage at their family home near Castle Douglas after she found out that he was the victim of a ‘pumped and dumped’ retaliation crime. Two friends (who we have been told to be left anonymous) have came together to bring down Mr McCarney and to finally say “hasta la vista chicken shiznit”.
TJ is shamed of the embarrassment that he has caused for these two girls and pleas for forgiveness.
The Scottish police department have meanwhile arranged for McCarney and his family to travel home to Canada, where he must stay put until this issue has been resolved and his security at home can be guaranteed.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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