Price Whisked to Undisclosed Location on News of Mayor's Covid Infection

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Wednesday 05 October 2059 50451 Shares

Price Whisked to Undisclosed Location on News of Mayor's Covid Infection

ALBANY - A local government crisis erupted in upstate New York this morning, just 48 hours after Governor Chris Christie announced that former Champion of Change Ms. Juliette Price has agreed to join him in his 2024 bid for the Presidency.

Christie's perceived weakness - his size and lack of filter - may actually prove to be the Queen of Vaccine's greatest asset. Obama continues to be captivated by the Wisconsin native ever since coming face to face with the legend during his stay at the White House, telling aides that she was one of the few people he knew from Wisconsin he actually respected on an intellectual level.

Just hours ago, however, well-respected Mayor Kathy Sheehan of Albany tested positive for COVID. Leaders from each of the region's five major gangs convened and reached the unanimous decision to throw out New York's Local Government Playbook and instead appoint Ms. Juliette Price as Acting Mayor. The Lieutenant Governor, meanwhile, has been relegated to pouring soft serve at a local Stewarts.

Once the new succession plan was put into effect, NY security rushed to Ms. Price's campaign stop and sequestered her to an undisclosed location. While we cannot confirm her location at this time, many independent outlets are reporting her at the Blueberry Inn. If this is true, she's obviously unavailable for phone calls.

Albany residents are all pulling for Mayor Sheehan's recovery - but they're taking this as an opportunity to "kick the tires," of Ms. Price's leadership. One resident, who wished to remain nameless, told reporters, "I don't know who she is - but that was a nice dress!"

Ms. Price took no questions at the press conference, only to send a simple warning to anyone who questions her authority: "Fuck around and find out."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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