Silverback Gorilla With Crohn's Disease Discovers Cure for Genital Herpes

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A silverback gorilla named Toby Lamar has discovered a cure for genital herpes. Diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 2009, Toby began a strict diet of potato pancakes, mule teets, and raw carrot juice. A freak accident involving a Barbie doll and a meat cleaver in 2011 resulted in Toby earning a Master's degree in Biochemistry from the University of Arkansas. Toby began to focus his attention on genital herpes following a brief encounter with Britney Spears in 2014. After years of research, Toby was able to isolate the genome responsible for the onset and outbreak of genital herpes, and found that it could be eradicated using a mixture of Pine Sol, hair spray, and toe nail clippings. The FDA immediately approved Toby's miracle serum and began administering the blend to herpes victims worldwide, Toby has since been awarded a Screen Actor's Guild Achievement Award, and will be joining the cast of "Blackish" beginning this fall.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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