Ohio River declared unsafe by National Center for Disease

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The Center for Disease Control and Prevention Co-Principal Investigator Geri A. Dino, PHD and Co-Director Lesley Cottrell, PHD declared the Ohio river was unsafe when samples taken by WV Wildlife came back positive for a rare microbe, related to West Nile, that causes permanent blindness, headaches, toothaches, and loss of libido. The Microbe has been identified as bolchitomitis. Authorities are mandating that no one swim in the river or drink the water from surrounding treatment facilities. If anyone has come into contact with the river since July 5th, you are being asked to contact your local medical center or your city Mayor.

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This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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